If a newsletter enters your inbox and no one is around to open it...
...does it make a sound?
Sup guys?
Alex here. I was…gone for a while. I was doing very legal things in Paris, many people saw me obeying the law in various locales. Don’t worry about it and don’t ask me about it. Found our magazine in a little magazine shop in Amsterdam, here is a picture of me proving that for all of the haters? I guess?
Anyway, about the subject line, I was thinking recently about how all of our days are numbered, and the only guarantee in this life is death. And then I thought, ‘wait, when I die, who will open the Flagrant newsletter every week for me so our open rate continues to stay above industry standards?’
So I asked the wisest person I know, and that’s when my mom told me about an “advanced directive”, which is a form you can fill out that states your wishes for medical and email care should you be unable to care or open emails for yourself. I filled mine out and it dictates that my best friend will be opening my weekly Flagrant newsletters in the event that I am unable to do so. (Regarding medical care, I’ve named my estranged brother as the person in charge of pulling the plug on me so he has to question whether or not he personally killed me for the rest of his life).*
I highly suggest you all fill one out to ensure that your Flagrant newsletters are still being opened when you are gone, physically or mentally. If you don’t fill one of these out, then your loved ones will be left with, on top of everything else, the decision about who should be in charge of opening your emails. I promise you, you do NOT want to burden them with that on top of their grief.
New Episode of Flagrant Files: Nothing But Bet
If you’ve been following Flagrant Magazine since 2021, you may remember the very first season of our podcast, Flagrant Files, a crime-ish, conspiracy-ish podcast covering NBA conspiracy theories. We made 23 (coincidence?) gorgus (inside pod joke) episodes and sart of ran out of conspiracies.
That said, considering all of the insane shit that has been going on lately in the way of crimes, both in the NBA and beyond, we decided to throw it back this week and put on a nostalgic podcast for you all. Riddled with stupid ass pre-recorded bits, fake ad reads, and baseless accusations, this week’s pod episode, “Nothing But Bet”, is sure to entertain. Give it a listen, and maybe rate and review us? We do this pod for the love of the game, but we would love if it grew a little, too. :)
NBA, You Could Never Make Us Hate You (Until You Inevitably Do)
The NBA is soooo back…we’ve actually got some serious vibes happening over there.
We’ve got brother vs. brother, we’ve got James Harden is allegedly in love, we’ve got Klay and Megan are definitely in love, we’ve got Draymond Green needs therapy, and we’re just a few games in. Things are looking up for our boys in uniform!
Obviously things are in fact NOT looking up for some of our boys in uniform, who have recently been arrested by the FBI for running rigged poker games for the Italian mafia but that only adds to the vibes in our opinion! Unfortunately, it’s actually so fucking cool in many ways…
Jaylen Brown Is Balding Respectfully
After the internet found out that Jaylen Brown’s hairline was sprayed on, he decided to take matters into his own hands by acknowledging that he is balding and normalizing it, because it is normal. For that reason, we respect him.
“I blame Boston. Ten years of media, stress, championship. This is y’all fault.”
I Say Fair Pay, And You Say Potato?
The WNBPA is dangerously close to calling the whole thing off after a week of negotiations have only led to the WNBA asking for a 30-day extension to keep, well, fucking around and not paying the players. Can we move forward, please? There is only one way this ends, it’s just a matter of when Cathy wants it to end. On some other timeline, this new CBA has already been agreed to and I am sitting courtside for the Portland Fire’s season opener, putting all of my energy into becoming gay.
The deadline is October 31st. So, go ahead and prove everyone wrong, Cathy.
Happy National Cat Day!
The Starting Five have kitty cats for days! Seven of them thangs, to be exact. Three black cats (spooky), three tabbies (sassy), and one tuxedo (fancy).
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