We open this newsletter somberly as we mourn the loss of both Brandon Clarke and Jason Collins.
The Grizzlies posted a statement on Clarke’s passing, and if you would like to read more about it, you can do so here.
So much has been written about Jason Collins (who was the first active openly gay player in the league, aka the bravest man to ever lace ‘em up) throughout the years, and so much written by Collins himself. I recommend taking some time to read his essay on his cancer diagnosis, which he wrote in December 2025. He was 47.
The rest of this newsletter is going to progressively return to our normal sillies, but we would be remiss to ignore these losses.
Born To Sit Courtside But Forced To Sit Rafterside?
We can’t all be part of the hardwood elite, but we can look like it wherever we sit. People are getting theirs already, will you have yours? Get her now!
Everything Is Coming Up Washington
DC, that is. Congrats to the Wizards on seemingly escaping the pox placed upon them by a member of their namesake years ago. The last time Washington had the first overall pick, John Wall Dougied his way into millions of fan’s hearts. We’re wishing you a similar amount of luck this time, as well as an additional amount of luck on the latter end of this pick’s career, for good measure.
Across the pond, is there a team more fun than the Washington Mystics?? We’d be hard pressed to find one. They’re young, they’re turnt, they’re dropping Ws in the chat. Yep, it’s a good time to be in the swamp.
New Episode of Pickup: We’re On Fire
We’re so happy the WNBA is back! Ashtyn and Alex recap their experience at the Portland Fire home opener, and we cover the rest of opening weekend in the W. We also chat about Wemby’s foul, the Pacers’ draft lottery disaster, and more! Ciara was there, too. She just didn’t add a whole lot. Ha ha, just kidding, I am razzing her. She wrote the first part, but I had to add that part. Who am I, you ask? That’s for me to know and you to
Leave us a review and we just might read it on the pod…
Meet Your Next Hoodie
Because you’re our homie, and me and my homies watch lions women’s basketball. And now, we’re wearing a hoodie about it thanks to isthatarden’s collab with Columbia University’s women’s team.
That’s gonna be an immediate yes from us! Check out the hoodie here and while you’re on the site, take a stroll through the rest of Adren’s website. You’re gonna like what you see.
Yum, Delicious Haterade
Dillon Brooks, the hater that you are.
If you like good writing, take a peak at our fave Katie’s recent essay about Brooks as part of her Exits series. Spoiler alert: it rocks. Anyway, go Beavs.
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