Did you receive issue 09? Tag us on social media then, what the hell…
The NBA Draft happened last night, completely out of the blue (to me), so here are the top 10 picks:
AJ Dybantsa (Wizards)
Darryn Peterson (Jazz)
Cameron Boozer (Grizzlies)
Caleb Wilson (Bulls)
Keaton Wagler (Clippers)
Mikel Brown Jr. (Nets)
Darius Acuff Jr (Kings)
Kingston Flemings (Hawks)
Morez Johnson Jr, (Mavericks)
Brayden Burries (Bucks)
Special shoutout to Yaxel Lendeborg for getting emotional when the Warriors took him at #11. We love a crybaby around here!!
What’s A Courtside Baddie Like Me Doing In A 200 Section Like This?
Get the shirt if you’re a master bitter like us. What?
Party In The City Where The Greek Is In
Giannis Antetokounmpo was traded (along with Bobby Portis (who is not a tortoise but sounds like he could be one but honestly also kinda looks like one low key???)) to the Miami Heat for Tyler Herro, Kel’el Ware, Jaime Jaquez Jr, Kasparas Jakučionis, three first-round picks, one pick swap and one second-rounder. That’s actually kinda crazy to me - is that what Giannis (and Bobby Portis who is not a tortoise but sounds like he could be one but honestly also kinda looks like one low key) are worth??? How the fuck should I know, I’m a tortoise.
One thing is certain; the weather in Miami is sure to make Giannis even hornier on main than he has been in years past. There are some statistics I’m sure that exist about the effect of the temperature on human behavior somewhere. I don’t have access to them. They won’t let me cite my sources. They want me dead. And remember, I’m just a tortoise.
NO New Episode of Pickup: Sorry
Tragic, isn’t it? Ashtyn was in Cans and Ciara was in Nap- Sonoma (you think I’m stupid, Ciara?), so we had to skip this week. Alex did consider doing a sort of One-Woman Show podcast where she just ranted about whatever was on her mind but she realized that would be pretty self-indulgent and opted not to.
Join us next week for a brand new and probably incredible episode!
New Head Beeotch In Town
The Trail Blazers have signed former Minnesota Timberwolves coach Micah Nori to a one-year deal, so if you’re into finding out things like that then this whole sentence was definitely meant for you.
Support the cause
Our goal is to keep growing as the ONLY women-owned hoops mag that serves up and provides a platform for the stories of all genders and levels. As such, we need the world to know we exist, and we hope you can help us spread the word. Become a Substack subscriber, listen to our podcast, follow us on Instagram and Twitter, donate to our small business, buy a magazine subscription or merch, and most importantly, tell a friend about us. We can’t thank you enough.
This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Stay Flagrant. All writes reserved.